


Is this what home feels like?

by Masterofpretending



Category: Misfits (TV 2009)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, GASP, M/M, curtis is so done with this werid shit, friends with benefits turned into something.... more ?, nathan has feelings and he doesnt like it, simon is a good guy beacuse of course he is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-23 11:17:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20891243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masterofpretending/pseuds/Masterofpretending
Summary: Simon wasn’t Nathan’s boyfriend or anything, he really wasn’t.So why was Nathan missing him like this?





	Is this what home feels like?

Simon wasn’t Nathan’s boyfriend or anything,  _ he really wasn’t _ . They were just two friends who, from time to time, spent their shared community service sneaking off and making out in some scrub amongst dirty mops and window cleaners. Okay, Nathan admitted to himself, sometimes they would go a bit further than that, grinding against one another until they were seconds away from shamefully coming in their pants, only to finish each other off with sloppy blowjobs and rushed handies. Those four walls had a lot of stories to tell but none of them would in any way indicate that the two were in some type of relationship. That would be ridiculous. They were barely even friends, more like two acquaintances having been brought together by a series of strange events. They were really just the product of the irony of the universe, nothing more. 

So why was it that Nathan was impatiently tapping his feet while staring at the door, waiting for it to open and reveal Simon, a half-smile tugging at his lips as he spotted the other boy? Why had he been counting the days since he last saw that stupid shark-mutated face? 

The last time they saw one another, they’d been off to the scrub again and he remembered Simon’s cold blue eyes avoiding Nathan’s own green ones as he hardened in Nathan’s pumping hand. Sure, maybe it had been slightly inappropriate considering Simon had been off for the funeral the very next day but the more Nathan thought about it, the more pleased he felt about his request for one last ”goodbye wank-off”. 

It hadn’t even been a close relative or anything, and, more importantly, the death had been the most mundane Nathan had come across in a while and he if anyone would know. He was a self-proclaimed expert on dying after all and in his expert opinion there had to be at least ten more spectacular ways to go than ”passing away in your sleep.” What did that even mean? Last time he checked, sleep couldn’t kill you. Maybe it had been some type of super-intense wet dream, giving the poor old man a brain aneurysm from all the blood traveling to his wrinkly cock. What a horrifying image. 

So that's where Simon had been, in some inbred little town in the middle of nowhere, celebrating the life of someone he barely knew. Nathan thought it was the lamest excuse to slack off work but he couldn’t object as he, once again, wasn't Simon’s boyfriend. He didn’t want to be either. He was totally fine with the way things were, actually,  _ more than fine _ , it was perfect. He got to enjoy all the privileges of being in a relationship (like blowjobs on a regular basis) while avoiding all that emotional bullshit that eventually complicated everything anyway. Nathan had been through enough complications to last a lifetime, having spent his childhood in a loop of endless bullshit. He had muddled memories of tip-toeing around his dad when he recognized that dangerous slur in his voice and whiskey on his breath. He remembered not wanting to go home but knowing that if he didn’t a corpse might await him, his father having choked on his own vomit in the absence of Nathan’s constant help. He remembered spending every waking moment either taking care of everything and everyone or worrying about the things he wasn't taking care of. But all of that didn’t compare to the constant lying. That had been the worst by far.

_ ”No mom, everything is fine with dad, I would tell you if they weren’t.” _

_ ”Sorry, I can’t have over friends today, you know how it is.” _

_ ”Of course things are okay at home. What kind of question is that, are you a wannabe therapist or something? Wasn't smart enough to get a real job so you settled for school-counselor, huh?” _

Nathan didn’t need another person to take care of, to lie for, he was done with all that. He decided a long time ago that the time for giving a shit about others was the worst. What was the point when they all let him down anyway?

_ So _ , Nathan repeated in his head,  _ Simon was not, and would never be, his boyfriend _ . It would be absurd anyway. Nathan almost laughed picturing the two of them skipping around town, holding hands and giving each other quick pecks on the lips as they said their goodbyes. Would they tell the rest of the group, sit them all down and seriously explaining that ”The two of us are in a committed, loving and nurturing relationship” or would they let them figure it out all on their own? Boyfriends or not, eventually someone would find out, either by the way the two of them always went mysteriously missing only to return with messy hairdos and reddened lips, or by accidentally opening a door they weren’t supposed to. If they were boyfriends would Nathan have to introduce Simon to his mom? Bring him home for an awkward dinner and let him get bombarded with endless, increasingly intimate questions. He couldn't imagine her being pleased with the two of them meeting in community service but perhaps Simon would eventually win her over with his serious nature, the way he took a second to think before answering a question. Nathan never did and he suspected his mom would find the contrast refreshing. 

He thought about the two of them doing all that cliché couple-bullshit. Simon blushing as Nathan stole a kiss from him in the darkness of the love tunnel at the amusement park. Nathan begging for Simon to share his ice cream at the beach, the two of them shamelessly leaning over each other’s warm, bare bodies. Simon whispering out nerdy movie facts in the cinema and Nathan shutting him up by kissing him senseless. 

Nathan groaned, aimlessly kicking a pillar creating a hollow sound echoing in the empty halls. It was almost ten minutes until the juveniles were supposed to be in the locker rooms and get ready for another day of work. Nathan was of course already prepared, the arms of his obnoxiously orange jumpsuit tied around his waist, revealing the dark t-shirt underneath. A part of him had, embarrassingly enough, had chosen the shirt because it still smelled of Simon and his store label deodorant and vanilla sweet shampoo. Smelled of bare skin and silent touches. The other boy had borrowed it one morning when they'd spent the night fooling around on Nathan’s makeshift bed. He’d said he needed something less cum-stained than his own shirt since he was leaving to attend his sister’s 13th birthday party. Nathan had just shrugged at the other man’s apparent stress and thrown the black t-shirt at him after assessing it to be clean enough no to be outright offensive. He’d ignored his own heart skip a beat at the sight of Simon. The shirt which normally hung loosely off Nathan’s own lanky frame was hugging the other man’s body in all the right places. It was as if his muscles (yes, the weird kid was shockingly enough almost as well-built as Curtis) were teasing him through the dark fabric. 

Nathan was just about to take a sniff off the shirt but quickly abandoned the idea as he heard the front door opening. To his disappointment, however, it was just Curtis, giving him a curious look when he sighed loudly and leaned against the wall again.

”Good morning to you too, dickhead,” he huffed before moving past Nathan, probably heading for the locker rooms. 

”Oh, thank you,” Nathan shouted after him, ”sarcasm was just what I needed to get me in the mood for a productive day picking up garbage or whatever the fuck it is we-”

”Nathan?” 

Nathan spun around at hearing his own name being uttered and,  _ shit _ , there he was. A small smile was playing at his lips and he wearing his usual shirt and jeans get-up like he never even left. Like he hadn't been gone for almost an entire week. 

Nathan almost launched forward, for a second ignoring how desperate he must have looked, and trapped the other boy in his embrace. He felt relief wash over him as Simon’s lips instinctually slid against his own, so easy, so uncomplicated. After the initial second of surprise, Simon leaned into the kiss, his hands firm on Nathan’s back. In return, Nathan slid in his tongue, letting it carefully slide against Simon’s, earning him an eager moan. Nathan smiled into the kiss and,  _ fuck _ , he had missed this. He’d missed Simon, he’d missed  _ them _ . 

They pulled apart and after catching his own breath, Simon gave Nathan a curious look, ”What was that for?” He inquired and Nathan felt his cheeks going warm. 

”You always think everything has to be a metaphor or something,” he dismissed, his heart still acting as if he’d just consumed a gallon of pure sugar, ”Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss.”

Simon raised an eyebrow at him and Nathan suddenly felt trapped in his arms, shifting away slightly and clearing his throat. 

”So um,” he started, never having felt more stupid (which was saying a lot coming from Nathan), ”How was the funeral?”

”There was a lot of crying,” Simon said, a look of confusion still painted over his features, ”but the cake was okay I guess.”

The space between them was suddenly tense and not in the usual “I wanna fuck you so hard right now, too bad we’re not alone”- type of way. He looked as if he somehow _just knew_ Nathan was hiding something . Like the walls he’d spent so long putting up was made of invisible building blocks. 

”Cool,” Nathan nodded, ”I mean not really, death is sad and all, not that I would know.. but cake… that’s cool.”

”Okay,” Simon interrupted, suspiciously looking him up and down, ”you’re acting weirder than usual, what’s is going on?”

”Fine!” Nathan snapped, not bearing another second of that look. Not bearing another second of Simon wondering, and overthinking, and worrying. 

”I missed you,  _ there _ .” His arms flung open for emphasis, almost hitting the other man in the chest. 

”I missed you, and I usually don’t miss people, and I don’t know how to deal with that like an adult rather than some broken child filled with daddy issues and internalized-”

His increasingly revealing rambling was cut off by Simons's lips pressed firmly against his own. He felt his muscles relaxing at the touch, his hands dropping to his sides only to be intertwined with Simon’s fingers.

”I missed you too,” Simon whispered when he pulled away, giving Nathan a smile that was meant for him and him alone. It filled Nathan with warmth and calm and something reminiscent of home. Not the broken home he’d spent years learning to let go. Not the home haunting him in his dreams, making him wake up with sweat running down his forehead and poisoned words on his lips, cursing a past that he knew couldn't answer for its own injustices. Not the home he hated but the home he needed. The type of home he’d hear people who weren't fucked up talk about. Red-painted summer houses and food three times a day. Parents who don't curse you out when you said the wrong thing or forgot you at IKEA because they’d had one too many beers in the cafeteria. A home that felt safe. 

Suddenly the echo of hasty footsteps could be heard behind them and Nathan held his breath at the sudden sound.

”If you decided not to be a prick anymore could you- woah.” 

Simon and Nathan turned around, hands still interlocked and faces still sore from kissing, and was met with the sight of a dumbfounded Curtis who’d returned from the locker rooms with his orange jumpsuit on.

”You know what,” the teen said and pulled up his hand in a surrendering motion, ”I’m not even gonna ask at this point, I just… wow.” 

Simon and Nathan looked at one another, then back at Curtis, then back again. Simon had a concerned line between his brows and it occurred to Nathan that he was worried about him. Worried that Nathan wasn't comfortable with their secret exposed. Worried he didn't want it all in the open. Worried that he wouldn’t feel comfortable, wouldn’t feel  _ safe _ . Nathan couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. Simon might have been the only one in the world who could actually make him feel safe so of course he would also be the only one worried he was doing the opposite. His sudden outburst of giggling seemed to make Simon somewhat relaxed as he joined in, his laughter just as soft and discrete as one would expect it to be.

”You guys are weird,” Curtis concluded but he was smiling, the only confirmation Nathan needed to know that it was okay, they were okay. 

Simon wasn’t Nathan’s boyfriend or anything,  _ he really wasn’t. _ But when Simon later let his hand fall back into Nathan’s, he didn’t object. The warm skin against his feeling like the sweetest reassurance, like the long lost sense of stability was finding its way back into his life. Like a piece of a puzzle suddenly being found behind a couch cushion. Like it had been there all along, just waiting for someone to pick it up.

It felt right in the strangest way possible. 

**Author's Note:**

> Im back!!! Hope ya'll like this sweet and slightly angsty fic that totally is not reflective of my own life/past in any way, no sir


End file.
